How can wives save their marriage?
A recent article provides a wife advice that could devastate their marriage and lead to a divorce. Divorce should not be an option when infidelity is not involved. Wives can save their marriage by taking their rightful place as outlined in the original design of marriage.
According to the article, Advice for the Modern Man: Can I Still Save My Marriage, the wife has several complaints regarding her marriage. This wife complains that she initialized several efforts to save her marriage. She has had several conversations with her husband in which he agrees to help save their marriage. She has even attempted to withdraw from the wedding, but her then fiancé told her that things would get better. She also stated that her husband is neither physically nor emotionally abusive.
The article author believes that the husband is negligent and the wife should use her existence in the marriage as a tool to enhance her husband’s behavior. “The time for generalities and hollow threats is over. It’s about action now. And if, for whatever reason, he still won’t get off the sectional, you have to be willing to walk away”, says the author.
The advice provided by this author is treacherous on several fronts. First, since the husband has not committed any acts associated with infidelity, she has no grounds to leave her husband. The Holy Scriptures are very clear in the area of infidelity (Matthew 5:32 &1 Corinthians 7:10 – 7:11)
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matthew 5:32).
And unto the married I command, [yet] not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from [her] husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife (1 Corinthians 7:10 – 7:11).
Secondly, the author should address the husband’s behavior for embracing the sectional. The husband either does not work and the sectional has become a place of comfort. Or he works very hard and uses the sectional as a device of refuge. In either case, this husband has missed the purpose of his marriage which is outlined in the original design of marriage.
Instead on complaining and exhibiting self-centered behaviors, the wife needs to exhibit behaviors associated with her role in the original design of marriage. The wife can find her original role in Genesis 2:18. In this verse, she is to help the husband with his God ordained purpose. But according to the article, she wants to be the center of the marriage. She not only wants to place herself above the needs of her husband, but she wants to place herself above God.
There are several women in the bible who decided to put themselves above their husband which resulted in devastation for the wife. One example is Queen Vashti.
In the Book of Esther, Queen Vashti is the wife of King Ahasuerus. While her husband was holding a banquet for his princes, nobles and servants, Vashti was holding a separate banquet for the women. On the seventh day of the banquet, the king ordered his seven chamberlains to summon Vashti to come before him and his guests wearing only her royal crown, in order to display her beauty. Queen Vashti refused to come, and the king became angry. He asked his advisers how the queen should be punished for her disobedience. His adviser Memucan told him that Vashti has wronged not only the king, but also all of the husbands of Persia, whose wives may be encouraged by Vashti’s act of disobedience. Memucan encouraged King Ahasuerus to dismiss Queen Vashti and find another queen. King Ahasuerus took Memucan’s advice, and sent letters to all of the provinces that men should dominate in their households. Ahasuerus subsequently chooses Esther as his queen to replaced former Queen Vashti.
Instead of taking advice that can result in a divorce, wives can take their rightful place in their marriage by becoming the intimate team player. This is their position according to the original design of marriage. In this way, they will work together as a team and therefore avoid the atrocities associated with divorce by positioning their marriage to prosper.
I Don’t Want To Be The Breadwinner In My Marriage Anymore!
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
– Husband Leadership Principles
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Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
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Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly