How can single men marry the right person?
A recent article surmises that the fundamental concepts for marrying the right person center on relationship factors that exclude the tenets of the original design of marriage for which single men need to embrace before they commit to marriage. Marriages will continue to fail without the necessary components. Single men can marry the right woman by preparing their roles as God has originally designed.
According to the article, Top 10 Tips for Marrying the Right Person, the author emphasizes that the most critical necessity in a marriage is commitment. However, the author believes that choosing the right person to marry is the next primary ingredient.
The author recommends the following 10 Tips for singles:
- Becoming best friends first
- Keeping the expectations real
- Not wasting time
- Trying to imagine the future
- Picturing introducing your perspective spouse to your friends and family
- Taking parents into consideration
- Staying chaste
- Not living together
- When it is time to marry, focus on the marriage and not the wedding
How should single men prepare to marry the right woman?
According to the original design of marriage (Ordermige), single men have primary roles in the three components. In the first component, single men must prepare themselves by becoming a servant and a good steward. As a servant in the world that we live in today, a man must have a spiritual and vocational calling. His spiritual calling must be based on his Spiritual Gifts and the experiences that God has provided for him.
We find several Spiritual Gifts in the New Testament in Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4, and 1 Peter 4. Romans 12 includes the Spiritual Gifts of prophecy, serving, teaching, exhortation, giving, leadership, and mercy. 1 Corinthians 12 includes the Spiritual Gifts word of wisdom, word of knowledge, faith, gifts of healings, miracles, prophecy, distinguishing between spirits, tongues, interpretation of tongues, apostle, prophet, teacher, miracles, kinds of healings, helps, administration, and tongues. Ephesians chapter 4 includes apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher. 1 Peter 4 includes serving and teaching.
Next, single men must prepare themselves by practicing good stewardship. Daniel provides an example of a good steward. Like many of us, Daniel was a steward in a foreign land. Whatever God entrust us with, whether it is gifts of ability, intellect, possessions, position, or financial prosperity, he places those gifting into our lives to bless others, and to further God’s purposes. Daniel and his friends Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, who are better, know as Shadrach, Meschach and Abendego, found themselves as captives who were temporarily living in Babylon. As stewards, they choose to live a modest life style (Daniel 1:3-30). Daniel specifically used his gifts to:
- Glorify God (Daniel 2: 1-47)
- Save pagan magicians form the king’s wrath (Daniel 2:24)
- Bless others (Daniel 2:48-49)
- Show the king respect after proving that God was greater than the king’s god (Daniel 3:1-30).
- Help others recognize that his gifts were to not for self-indulgence but to bring about God’s purposes (Daniel 5:13-23).
Next men must prepare themselves to marry the right person by following God’s instructions. There are six hundred and thirteen commandments of the law for which three hundred and sixty-five are negative and two hundred and forty eight are positive. Christ reduces these numerous commandments into two commandants which are to love God, and to love thy neighbor. This commandment is also expressed in Leviticus 19:18:
A man should desire to be loved by his neighbor and to do all good things to his neighbor that he would like to have done to him.
This law presupposes that men should love themselves, or otherwise they cannot love their neighbor. Single men are not to love their neighbor in a sinful way such as by indulging themselves in carnal lusts and pleasures. Some men are lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God. Single men should be concerned for their neighbor’s souls and ever lasting happiness. We should do well to them and no injury to them or their personal property. Pray for them, instruct them and advise them as you would yourself. In order for a man to love his neighbor, he must know how to love himself first. The way that we know how to love ourselves is through our Christian behavior.
Finally, single men must prepare themselves to become a team leader. A good team leader will have the ability to implement teamwork in the marriage. Teamwork between the Christian husband and wife provides opportunities for encouragement in times of rejection. Teamwork fulfills the visions and goals of the marriage by providing the husband and wife an opportunity to work together, which enables them to attain exceptional results. Single men can increase their success of marrying the right woman by exhibiting the characteristics associated with the original design of marriage.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
– Husband Leadership Principles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly