When should a spouse withhold sex?

In a recent article, associate writer Bukky Sanni, writes about the dangers of withholding sex from your spouse. There exists scientific reasons for the necessity of sex for both men and woman. The bible provides on one case in which a spouse is allowed to withhold sex.

According to the article, when a husband or wife withholds sex it affects the husband more than the wife. When a wife withholds sex from her husband, the husband does not have the chemical stimulants that provides a sense of well being. When men have sex and regular organisms it make them fell better due to a testosterone boost. This makes men feel desired by their wife.

On the other hand, since women lead with their feelings and not their anatomy, if the husband withholds sex it does not have as a devastating impact on the wife. Men can increase desirability by expressing compliments which is accomplished by understanding the wife’s inner life, wishes, desires, and intentions.

The article only speaks to the outcome for the husband or wife when the other spouse withholds sex.

When is the only time that a spouse can withhold sex from her husband?

According to 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 (KJV), the only time that a husband or wife can withhold sex is during fasting and prayer.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (1 Corinthians 7:2-5 KJV).

What is the fasting and prayer that can result in a spouse withholding sex?


Fasting is anything given up temporarily in order to focus all our attention on God (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). The primary reason for a biblical fast is not to lose weight, but rather to gain closer fellowship with God. Fasting requires humility and joy. According to Matthew 6:16-18, “Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.”


Prayer is having a conversation with God. Prayer can be accomplished either orally or mentally.

The major types of prayers in the Bible include:

  1. Faith – According to James 5:15, “And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up.”
  2. Corporate – After Jesus’ ascension to heaven, the disciples “all joined together constantly in prayer” (Acts 1:14).
  3. Supplication – According to Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
  4. Thanksgiving – According to Philippians 4:5, “With thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
  5. Worship – The prayer of thanksgiving focuses on what God has done. For example, church leaders in Antioch prayed with fasting: “While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, ‘Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.’ Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off” (Acts 13:2-3).
  6. Consecration – There are times when prayer is a time of setting ourselves apart to follow God’s will. Jesus made a prayer of consecration the night before His crucifixion: “And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will’” (Matthew 26:39).
  7. Intercession – There are times when our prayers include requests for others as we intercede for them. 1 Timothy 2:1 provides an example of intercessory prayer, Jesus serves as our example in this area. “I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;” Furthermore, John 17 is a prayer of Jesus on behalf of His disciples and all believers.
  8. Imprecation – Imprecatory prayers are found in the Psalms 7,55, & 69. They are used to invoke God’s judgment on the wicked and thereby avenge the righteous. The psalmists use this type of appeal to emphasize the holiness of God and the surety of His judgment. Jesus teaches us to pray for blessing on our enemies, not cursing (Matthew 5:44-48).

According to the bible, the only reason that a spouse can withhold sex is for fasting and prayer.


Related Articles

Pentagon accused of withholding information about sex crimes

Your View: Stop withholding sex education from kids

If You’re Withholding Sex to Make Your Man Stay Faithful, You Need to Let Him Go

In Christ,


Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com


Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three     Advanced


“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.


Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.


Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *