In a recent article, psychologist and other marriage experts have recommended a process that singles can use to avoid divorce. Singles need the implement the correct selection process before entertaining the thought of marriage. Singles can only ensure avoiding divorce by adhering to the prerequisites of the original design of marriage (Ordermige).
According to the article, 7 Conversations To Have Before Marriage (If You Want To Avoid Divorce), the 7 questions revolve around planning for a successful marriage. The seven conversations include:
- How close are you to your parents?
- How important is sex in a relationship?
- Do you want to have kids — and if so, how do you want to raise them?
- How do you define monogamy?
- What does our shared future look like?
- What’s your relationship with money?
- Do we have compatible argument styles?
The problem with the advice from the world renounced psychologist and marriage experts is that the questions actually become a perversion to the original design of marriage.
Contrary to popular belief, the first and most important aspect of marriage is not sex. The most important aspect of marriage is what is the purpose of your marriage. The purpose of your marriage dictates where your and your spouse will concentrate your efforts and resources. The mistake that couples make is that they do not make conscious efforts to focus on where God has called them to serve. Since the man is called to be the leader, the focus should be on where God is calling the man to serve.
Singles who desire to avoid divorce will also need direction. In Genesis 2:16-17, God provided Adam instructions of what he could and could not do. The author of this article has prioritized the relationships that single people should have with their parents. The answer to how the husband is to interact with his parents is found in Genesis 2:24.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24 KJV).
Genesis 2:24 instructs the husband to place a priority on his relationship with his wife and not his mother and father. However, God has left instructions for both the husband and wife in regards to parents. Exodus chapter 20:12. For single people who wish to avoid divorce the questions that need to be entertained are:
- Will the potential husband place his wife above his parents?
- Will both singles continue to honor their father and mother?
If both singles come to the conclusion that they must honor their father and mother, they will also come to the conclusion that they must honor their father in-law and mother in-law too.
Singles who also desire to avoid to divorce must also implement the third phase of marriage. God called the woman to be the husband’s helper (Genesis 2:18). This means that God called the husband to be the team leader.
Team is a group (such as a husband and wife) who are organized to work together for a common goal or project. Team effort is the cooperative effort by the members of a group or team to achieve a common goal, and a team player is one who does his best to do his part in cooperation with the other members of the team.
A team player does not seek to be a one-person show, but works together with his teammates and relies on their skills and abilities as he seeks to use his own abilities and gifts in a cooperative way. From a biblical standpoint, teamwork means sharing in the biblical responsibilities based on biblical goals, values, priorities, giftedness, training, and God’s leading. This is why it is so important for single men and women to know their purpose based on their spiritual gifts, talents, and experiences.
Singles who wish to avoid divorce must first meet the prerequisites of the original design of marriage (Ordermige) and develop a strategic plan based on a shared vision for their potential marriage
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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