How should husbands apply the number one priority in their marriage?

In a recent article, a local author presupposes that husbands should implement their number one marriage priority through a socialization process that involves socialization unity. Unity is one of the most important aspects of a successful marriage. Husbands can make their number on priority in marriage by replicating the original design of marriage.

According to the article, Price: Making your marriage your No.1 priority, the practical applications of sustaining a romantic relationship include:

  • Dinner dates, important decision-making conversations, trips together, and sex sessions
  • Schedule one relationship enhancement event a year which includes a marriage retreat, a few sessions of couples’ counseling or at the very least a romantic getaway

The problem with the author’s advice is that is does not adhere in its entirety to the original design of marriage. According to the second phase of the original design of marriage a husband is to follow God’s directions. We can find one of those directions in Ephesians 5:25.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25).

The type of love referred to in this scripture is agape. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is used.

Agape love is a little different. It is not a feeling. The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty moral nature and strong character.

In the New Testament it takes on a distinct meaning. Agape is used to describe the love that is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself: “God is love” (1 John 4:8). God does not merely love; He is love itself. Everything God does flows from His love. Agape is also used to describe our love for God (Luke 10:27), a servant’s faithful respect to his master (Matthew 6:24), and a man’s attachment to things (John 3:19).

As mentioned in Ephesians 5:25, agape love is mentioned in how a husband should interact with his wife. God would not leave this as an instruction if it were not possible for the husband to provide this agape love. We also find this type of love in Ephesians 5:28.

How can a husband implement agape love in his marriage?

Agape love is to love in a social or moral sense. Implementing the social perspective means to form cooperative and interdependent relationships with others. The husband must form a cooperative and interdependent relationships with his wife. Implementing the moral perspective involves conforming to standards of what is right or just behavior.

Agape love in a marriage involves forming cooperative, interdependent, and right behavior with your spouse.

One example of a cooperative relationships is between a wolf and a raven. Ravens will guide the wolf to prey and the raven will eat the leftovers. Without this cooperation with each other it is difficult for either to survive. Which should be the same for the husband and wife. Cooperation requires teamwork which is consistent with the third phase of the original design of marriage. Teamwork is the action of working or acting together for a common purpose or benefit.

An interdependent relationship is a close personal relationship between a husband and wife, where one or both provides some type of support, and care of the other. Several examples of an interdependent relationships include:

  • Bees depend on flowers for nectar and flowers depend on bees for cross pollination
  • The relationship between a manager and his employees
  • Our muscles need oxygen to work, the circulatory and respiratory systems need muscles to get oxygen.

The final application that a husband must implement to ensure a happy marriage is right behavior. The husband is to assume leadership in the home (1 Corinthians 11:3. This leadership should not be dictatorial, condescending, or patronizing to the wife, but should be in accordance with the example of Christ leading the church. Husbands can accomplish the number one priority in their marriage by adhering to the original design of marriage.

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In Christ,


Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267


Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three     Advanced


“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.


Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.


Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

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