Successful marriages involve combining the necessary components to ensure the desired outcome. Many couples struggle with this concept which ultimately leads to divorce. The ingredients for a successful marriage are outlined in the holy bible for which many avoid due to the standards set forth by other entities.
According to the article, Why My First Marriage Failed – and Yours Might too, the author surmises that “if experience is the greatest teacher, then divorce may be the best education in what it takes to have a successful marriage.” The statement is problematic in that a person does not have to endure the pain of a divorce to grasp and implement the necessities of a successful marriage. They only need to embrace the principles of the original design of marriage (Ordermige). The original design of marriage is found in Genesis 2:15 – 18.
And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:15-18 – KJV)
The word ‘dress’ in the Hebrew is ‘abad, which means to work as a servant. The word ‘keep’ in the Hebrew is shamar, which means to protect. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work as a servant in the garden and to protect the garden. Genesis 2:16 – 17 provided Adam with the path that he was to follow. God instructed Adam on what he could and could not do. At that point and time, Adam maintained his relationship with God by obeying his commands. Finally, God decided to provide Adam with a helper. The word ‘meet’ in the Hebrew is ‘ezer. Ezer means to help. Eve’s primary responsibility was to help Adam who was to work as a servant and to protect the Garden of Eden.
The original purpose for the marriage between Adam and Eve was to work together as a team to serve and protect the Garden of Eden. Hence, the original purpose for the marriage between a man and a woman is to serve and protect the resources that God gives to the husband and wife through teamwork. The key for the husband is to become a servant of God so that God will provide resources for the husband to protect which will enable the wife to help with the purpose that God gives to the husband.
The article outlined 10 challenges that lead to couples seeking a divorce. A few of the outlined challenges appeared to have some interest.
- Opposites don’t always attract. This person complained that compatibility was the primary issue. Genesis 2:18 points out that the couple will work together as a team. It would have helped this couple to develop a shared vision and strategic plan and then work together as a team. Embracing this concept would have helped this couple to have a successful marriage.
- I lost sight of myself in the marriage. This complaint was voiced by a woman. This woman should have kept in mind that her purpose in the marriage was to help her husband in his God ordained purpose. 1 Corinthian 11:9 points out that “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man (KJV).” Husbands can contribute to this problem when they are not following their God ordained purpose.
There were other challenges that pointed to complications involving love. Genesis 2:16-17 implies that God has left instructions for what the husband can and cannot do. In Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 5:25, and Ephesians 5:28, God directs husbands to love their wives. In each verse the word love means Agape Love. According to the Greek dictionary, Agape love means to love from a social or moral perspective. One of the tools that a husband can use to express love from a social perspective is the Luveuphoria Formula which is derived from the Luveuphoria Phenomenon.
The Luveuphoria Phenomenon has roots in Newton’s Law of Cooling. Newton’s Law of Cooling states that the rate of change of the temperature of an object is proportional to the difference between its own temperature and the ambient temperature (i.e. the temperature of its surroundings). The Luveuphoria Phenomenon is consistent with Newton’s Law of Cooling. It states that the rate of affection in a marriage is proportional to the number of non-sexual intimacy encounters and the number of days that a person is in the presence of their spouse.
For the challenges of the absence of love in the marriage, husbands should use the 10 Day Luveuphoria Challenge. This works well to ensure that husbands and wives have a successful marriage.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707 Cherry Hill, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267
- Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
- Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
- Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
- Husband Leadership Principles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly