In a recent article, Julia Roberts provides marriage advice that will allegedly avoid the pitfalls associated with divorce. A successful marriage is not isolated to one act. A successful marriage is a collection of behaviors, feelings, and acts that both the man and woman contribute. The marriage advice provided by Julia advice lacks the substance needed to continue in a happy marriage.
According to the article, Julia Roberts Gives Advice for a Successful Marriage, Julie believes that the most important aspect of a is physical contact. She specifically believes that kissing on a daily basis.
This thirteen year marriage veteran is married to Danny Moder and has three children. As a movie star it appears that her viewpoint on marriage is unrealistic. She and her husband have many of the resources that other couples are unable to obtain. At the financial level of their marriage it is interesting to know how kissing can impact a marriage.
How does the marriage advice of kissing impact a marriage?
The proximity associated with a kiss is paramount. Society has placed values on the proximity of the kiss. A kiss on the cheek is an indication of friendship. On the forehead reveals comfort, on the nose is for play, on the lips is love, and on the neck screams a desire for more.
There are several classifications of kisses which include compassion, pecks of play, and smooches displaying affection. There is a deep passionate kiss that is part of sexual foreplay. God-created the lips as the most sensitive region of the body over the genitals and fingertips. It’s the thinnest skin covering and consist of extensive nerve-endings. Kissing feels so good because lips are designed to feel good.
A kiss is so powerful because it can set off at least four chemical explosions inside the person. First, pheromones, which are airborne chemicals referred to as ‘chemistry’ between people. Natural human scents are emitted unconsciously by all people and when smelt by someone in a close exchange such as a kiss can elicit strong reactions of attraction or aversion.
Secondly, the rush of adrenaline that is produced in a kiss can literally “make your heart race” because with adrenaline, there is an increase in heart rate, blood pressure and dilation of pupils. You feel the surge and it feels good when people kiss.
Thirdly, pleasure centers of the brain become active with the surprise and excitement from a good kiss. The kiss can trigger a release of dopamine which is another hormone that brings a sense of giddiness or euphoria associated with romantic love.
Finally, when the affection is right and the commitment real, a kiss will release oxytocin that evokes feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around a mate. Therefore creating a deep bond between the husband and wife.
As powerful as a kiss can be, it is only a minor part of a successful marriage. A successful marriage includes three components which are outlined in the original design of marriage. The marriage advice from Julia Roberts is shallow in that it does not provide the process for infusing agape love.
How can couples infuse agape love which was excluded by Julia Roberts?
Agape love means to love from a social or moral sense. From a social perspective, Agape Love means to form a cooperative and interdependent relationship with others. From a moral perspective, Agape Love means to conform to standards of right and just behavior. When applied to a marriage, Agape Love means to form cooperative, interdependent, and right behavior with your spouse.
Couples will need to work as a team to infuse the concept of agape love for which Julia Roberts has not provided.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012
(856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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Samaritan Baptist Church
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El Shaddia Christian Assembly