How to handle relationship complaints?
Relationship complaints are one of the most mishandled aspects that in many cases is the first indication of a breakup. Resulting breakups can have a devastating impact on both the man and woman or husband and wife. The primary way to respond to relationship complaints is through a commitment analysis to eliminate the possibility of a breakup.
One proposed relationship expert proclaims that there are three relationships complaints that should not be ignored. These include:
- Frustrations about sex
- Clashes with in-laws
The three primary relationship complaints are in direct correlation to a lack of communication and a possible violation of moral principles based on the Holy Bible. The first complaint of frustrations about sex are two-fold.
First, for the man and woman are not married, frustrations about sex should not be a determining factor according to the Holy Bible.
There is no specific prohibition in the Bible against sex between an unmarried man and unmarried woman. However, “sexual immorality” is denounced in about 25 passages in the New Testament. The word translated as “sexual immorality” or “fornication” in English versions of the Bible is the Greek word porneia, which means “illicit sexual intercourse.” The Bible does not provide a specific list of acts that constitute “sexual immorality,” but these verses, also written by Paul, seem to say that any sexual intercourse, except between husband and wife, would be wrong.
For example, 1 Corinthins 7: 1-2 – ‘Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Secondly, a husband and wife who are frustrated about sex should use the Luveuphoria Formula. The Luveuphoria Formula is a product of the Luveuphoria Phenomenon.
One of the major signs of an unhealthy marriage is the lack of non-sexual intimacy. Non-sexual intimacy can lead to a sexless marriage. People who are involved in a sex-less marriage are more likely to consider divorce and are more likely to exist in an unhappy marriage. Non-sexual intimacy is a significant contributor to long-term marital bliss. This warm, positive, skin-to-skin contact releases the same bonding chemicals in your brain as sex.
The remedy to this marriage problem is easy. Use the Luveuphoria Formula and the Luveuphoria Scale to monitor the frequency of non-sexual intimacy in your marriage. Adding non-sexual intimacy to your marriage is a low-pressure way of maintaining a healthy marriage. Regular non-sexual intimacy can make you both more receptive to sensual experiences and it will make it easier to transition into more frequent sexual encounters.
The second complaint is about clashes with in-laws. In Genesis 2:24 we are taught, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” In a single verse, we find sound marital counsel that is just as applicable today as it was when Adam and Eve received it. This verse focuses on three important interrelated principles of marriage: leaving, cleaving, and becoming one.
The first step in obtaining the heavenly form of marriage is for a man to “leave his father and his mother.” The second step is to cleave. As one “leaves,” one is also expected to “cleave unto his wife.” The term cleave, as used in Genesis, is derived from the Hebrew dawbak, meaning “cling, adhere, stick, catch by pursuit” or “follow close.” The third step is to become one. While the world seems to emphasize behavioral differences between men and women and leads some to conclude that such differences are insurmountable, prophets have taught that through marriage men and women can become whole. Unity in marriage is not achieved simply by kneeling at an altar and accepting a spouse. It requires effort for a couple to become one. Marital unity doesn’t mean that spouses agree on everything. It also doesn’t mean they have to spend every minute of every day together, think the same thoughts, and order the same meal at restaurants.
The final complaint is regarding Techno-conferencing. Techno-conferencing is the equivalent of the usage of social media. The most important strategy to eliminate this complaint is transparency. As a rule of thumb, if you spouse cannot have or does not have access to your social media platform then you should not be on that social media platform.
The best way to handle relationships complaints is to conduct a commitment analysis. A commitment analysis is an evaluation of the individual’s allegiance. For many people, commitments are voiced as criticisms. For example, a person might criticize the appearance of the outside of the home. A commitment analysis will reveal that the person is committed to having a home with a great outside appearance. Another example is when a person complains that about the finances. Their commitment is to have a financially secure future. A final complaint could be a criticism regarding the sharing of feelings. The commitment is to increase the communication between the two persons.
A commitment analysis involves:
- Listing the top ten complaints
- Write down the persons commitment
- Determine if you agree with this commitment
A full commitment analysis will help each person to better handle relationship complaints.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
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