What is the only reason that men and women should choose to stay single?
In a recent article, author Brittany Wong outlines 17 reasons that men an women choose to stay single. She believes that remaining single becomes the choice for singles who are divorced or moving on from a long term relationship. There is only one good reason to choose to stay single.
The author cites the following reasons to stay single:
- “I’m single because I’m not going to settle. I haven’t found a mate who has captured my imagination and is fully his own person.”
- “I’m single because it’s a choice and because I don’t need someone to validate that I’m an amazing, caring, beautiful woman.”
- “I find it hard to imagine there’s a man out there who’s mature and awesome enough to take on me and my four kids. He’d have to have a big heart. My focus right now is to raise my kids as best I can and work to pay our bills. I’m not averse to meeting someone who is worth it, I just don’t have the time or energy to look for him at the expense of my kids or my job.”
- “I need to work on myself more before I can actively look for a partner. I’m not going to establish high standards for someone else and not for myself.”
- “I realized I have a pattern of loving emotionally unavailable men so I’ve hit pause.”
- “I’ve yet to meet a woman who has made me think, ‘Wow, being with them would be better than being single.'”
- “Because I have everything I need to be happy and whole with myself.”
- “Honestly, I am just too lazy. Relationships take effort. I don’t try to call, text, or any of that. I’ve started talking to guys, but realized that it required more time than I wanted to put forth and then I just stop responding.”
- “People as individuals are wonderful in small doses, but I wouldn’t want anyone around me all the time.”
- “I just haven’t met the right one yet and I’m not willing to play the ‘I have a man although he isn’t worth diddley’ game.”
- “Gosh, there are too many reasons to count. I will tell say this, though: I would never consider marriage again unless he was my very best friend first. Otherwise, I’m good being on my own.”
- “I know now what I didn’t know then. I’m more selective. For the time being, I’m focusing on me and growing spiritually, emotionally, mentally. I’m not planning to be single forever, but I’m not rushing or forcing it, either.”
- “Every person I meet or date is still a boy. It’s hard to find someone with relationship experience they’ve actually learned from. It’s even harder to find people who know what they want and who won’t run away when life throws them a curveball.”
- “There’s just been too many disappointments in my love life. I’m beautiful, smart, and most importantly, happy being single.”
- “Why am I single? Because I have this fear of letting a man in, watching my daughter grow attached to him, and then having the relationship fail. My daughter does not need to feel the pain of having more than one man abandon us. So, in short, I’m single because of my kid.”
- “I want control over my own life and money. Being single means I don’t have to explain what I buy or how I spend my time.”
- “I find it hard to be happy alone. If I cant be happy alone, I know I’ll never be happy in a relationship.”
The only viable reason to stay single is to serve God. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8: “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. Although it seems that nearly everyone marries, it is not necessarily God’s will for everyone. Paul, for example, did not have to worry about the extra problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. He would not have been such a useful messenger if he had been married.
This could be the primary reason why the divorce rate in the United States is so high. To stay single is a taboo. The bible tells us that not all people have the gift to be married and the correct alternative is to stay single and serve God.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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Samaritan Baptist Church
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