What is the primary reason for marriage failure?
In a recent article, an author describes five reasons for marriage failure. The author has made a critical error by embracing worldly perspectives. The primary reason for marriage failure is due to couples not embracing the original design for marriage.
According to the author, the leading causes of marriage failure (in my experience) are:
- Boredom – Couples stop dreaming, learning, and exploring together. Often the busyness of life distracts them from simply having fun together.
- Communication – Not understanding the difference in men and women and the different ways each communicate causes conflict and misunderstandings, which can bring huge wedges in the relationship.
- Money – We all need money to survive. When a couple, or one in the couple, is on a pursuit for more it often drives couples to stress out over money, or the lack thereof. Money is also a major cause of arguments, especially when the couple has no plan for how to spend the money they make.
- Outside influences – Whether it is work, hobbies, friends, in-laws or even children, couples often allow something or someone to come between them and distract them from each other. The marriage takes a backseat to other influences.
- Tragedy – It is difficult for the best marriages to recover from a tragedy, but especially marriages that are already experiencing difficulties.
If couples decided to embrace the original design for marriage, the above describes causes for marriage failure would be nonexistent.
The first example of a marriage is between Adam and Eve. God gave Adam which provides God’s original design for marriage. Genesis 2:7, records that …”the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul”. God placed the man He created in the Garden of Eden. Then God created a habitable environment for him, which included trees that were pleasant to the sight and good for food. God placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the Garden of Eden too. Eden also had a river that divided into four parts. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden “… to dress it and to keep it” (Genesis 2:15).
Dressing and keeping the Garden of Eden was Adams original purpose. The word ‘dress’ in the Hebrew is ‘abad, which means to work as a servant. The word ‘keep’ in the Hebrew is shamar, which means to protect. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work as a servant in the garden and to protect the garden. Protecting the garden required that Adam become the steward of the garden. God granted Adam stewardship over the Garden of Eden.
God provided Adam with the path that he was to follow (Genesis 2:16 – 17). God instructed Adam on what he could and could not do. At that point and time, Adam maintained his relationship with God by obeying his commands.
God decided to provide Adam with a helper. Genesis 2:18 records …”The Lord God said , It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet”. That word ‘meet’ in the Hebrew is ‘ezer. Ezer means to help. Eve’s primary responsibility was to help Adam who was to work as a servant and to protect the Garden of Eden.
The original purpose for the union between Adam and Eve was to work together as a team to serve and protect the Garden of Eden. Hence, the original purpose for the marriage between a man and a woman is to serve and protect the resources that God gives to the husband and wife through teamwork.
Boredom – If the husband and wife are serving together as a team it is impossible to become bored because they are both working for the same vision which will offset any tendencies that can lead to marriage failure.
Communication – If the husband and wife are serving together as a team it requires extensive communication to ensure the success of their efforts.
Money – If the husband and wife are serving together as a team they will know that as servants of God it is part of their stewardship responsibility to tithe which will offset any tendencies that can lead to marriage failure.
Outside Influences – If the husband and wife are serving together as a team they will have a great focus to please God which will minimize the distractions associated with outside influences.
Tragedy – If the husband and wife are serving together as a team as God has instructed, God will always provide them a way out of any obstacles which will offset any tendencies that can lead to marriage failure.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly