In a recent article, an author attempts to provide tips for a successful marriage. The marriage tips are absent the necessity of moral character that both the man and the woman need to bring to the marriage. The key to a successful marriage involves a commitment to the original design for marriage.
According to the article, the ten principles for a successful marriage include:
- Happiness is not the most important thing.
- Couples discover the value in just showing up.
- If you do what you always do, you will get same result.
- Your attitude does matter.
- Change your mind, change your marriage.
- The grass is greenest where you water it.
- You can change your marriage by changing yourself.
- Love is a verb, not just a feeling.
- Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears.
- A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over.
The first problem in many marriages is commitment. Most people who eventually get married have little understanding what it takes to be committed to God. How can a man and woman expect to be committed to one another without knowing how to be committed to God.
What type of commitment to God will develop the necessary characteristics for a successful marriage?
According to Matthew 22:37-38, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment”. Jesus instructs us that our commitment to God should be at the top of our list for daily living. Every part of our lives must be focused on God.
Additionally Jesus tells us that our commitment to Him must supersede our commitment to our families. We know this because Jesus stated that “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after Me cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26-27). Those who cannot make that kind of commitment cannot be His disciple.
According to Acts 6:1-4, “And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministration. Then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples unto them, and said, It is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables. Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business. But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word”, a disciple is a servant and is actively engaged in helping others in practical ways.
According to the original design of marriage, men are called to be servants of God. For men to have a successful marriage, they must have a commitment to serve God. However, many men opt to place a premium of money instead of serving God.
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Matthew 6:24).
Since God’s word is true, there is no way that a man can expect to have a successful marriage unless they choose to serve God first.
According to Genesis 2:18, women are called to help their husbands. The irony is that me are taught to be team players more that men are. We see this evident in the number of opportunities that are offered to boys to play sports. Girls do not have the same opportunities. It is almost a though we are training the men to take on the man’s role by the way that we develop children. A women cannot expect to have a successful marriage unless she learns how to be a team player.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly