How can couples make their marriage work?
In a recent article, a local columnist outlines five reasons that marriage does not work. The reasons that the columnist provide does not address the foundational marriage problems that can lead to divorce. Making a marriage work requires that couples embrace the original design for marriage as outlined in the Holy Bible.
In the article, the columnist outlines five reasons why marriage does not work which includes:
- Sex becomes almost non-existent
- Finances cripple us.
- We’re more connected than ever before, but completely disconnected at the same time
- Our desire for attention outweighs our desire to be loved
- Social media just invited a few thousand people into bed with you
The columnist has made a grievous in error in assuming that marriage is for the individuals. According to the original purpose of marriage, marriage is for the glorification of God and not the glorification of the man or woman.
Original Purpose of Marriage
The first example of a marriage is between Adam and Eve. God gave Adam certain responsibilities, which required certain leadership principles. When these leadership principles do not operate as God originally designed then the marriage is dysfunctional.
Genesis 2:7, records that …”the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul”. God placed the man He created in the Garden of Eden. Then God created a habitable environment for him, which included trees that were pleasant to the sight and good for food. God placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the Garden of Eden too. Eden also had a river that divided into four parts. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden “… to dress it and to keep it” (Genesis 2:15).
Dressing and keeping the Garden of Eden was Adams original purpose. The word ‘dress’ in the Hebrew is ‘abad, which means to work as a servant. The word ‘keep’ in the Hebrew is shamar, which means to protect. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work as a servant in the garden and to protect the garden. Protecting the garden required that Adam become the steward of the garden. God granted Adam stewardship over the Garden of Eden.
God provided Adam with the path that he was to follow (Genesis 2:16 – 17). God instructed Adam on what he could and could not do. At that point and time, Adam maintained his relationship with God by obeying his commands.
God decided to provide Adam with a helper. Genesis 2:18 records …”The Lord God said , It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet”. That word ‘meet’ in the Hebrew is ‘ezer. Ezer means to help. Eve’s primary responsibility was to help Adam who was to work as a servant and to protect the Garden of Eden. The original purpose for the union between Adam and Eve was to work together as a team to serve and protect the Garden of Eden. Hence, the original purpose for the marriage between a man and a woman is to serve and protect the resources that God gives to the husband and wife through teamwork. The key for the husband is to become a servant of God so that God will provide resources for the husband to protect which will enable the wife to help with the purpose that God gives to the husband.
Sex in a Marriage
The original design for marriage does not involved glorifying God and sex was to be used as a vehicle for procreation. God provides a hint of the first purpose for sex in Genesis 1:27 where he created both male and female. He continues in verse 28 by commanding men and women to “Be fruitful and multiply”. This pattern of procreation would have continued to create servants for God but was interrupted by sin.
Finances in a Marriage
Finances in a marriage become a problem when the husband does not exhibit the characteristics of a good steward. As good stewards, we are instructed to give God a tithe of all of our increase. According to Malachi 3:8-12 there are blessings for brining the tithe and consequences for not following those instructions. It does not mean that we will not have challenges, but because God is faithful and not a liar, bringing the tithe will rebuke financial problems in the marriage.
Disconnectedness in a Marriage
The original purpose of marriage enables couples to remain connected due to working together as a team. Husbands and wives who do not serve God in the husbands are of servitude are bound to become disconnected because they have avoided the original purpose of marriage.
According to the original purpose of marriage, the original focus is on serving God in the area that God has ordained the husband to serve. Any deviation from that purpose is going to cause marriage problems which could result in divorce.
Marriage will always experience some type of attack from outside instructions which include social media. We find the first intrusion to marriage, when Adam was attacked in the area of obedience. According to the original design of marriage, Adam – the husband – is responsible for following God’s instructions. When the husband is obedient to God, outside intrusions will have no impact on the marriage.
The only reason that marriage are not working today is because it has deviated from the original design for marriage.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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