Bad marriage advice has ruined many relationships between a man and woman. Men seek advice to ensure continued happiness in their life and marriage. The problem is that much of the bad marriage advice is associated with individual experiences rather than fundamental principles.
We find bad marriage advice in the article Advice from Dr. Marriage. In this article, a husband complains that “My wife and I get along great and yet she always seems slightly annoyed with me. What’s up with that? Am I doing something wrong?”
Dr. Marriage respond by stating, “first off, of COURSE you’re doing something wrong. You’re a guy. Married to a woman. And women are – and Dr. Marriage is not even kidding when he says this – superior in every way to men. Therefore, by definition, everything you are doing is wrong. I’m surprised you don’t know that by now.”
Dr. Marriage confirms his bad marriage advice by reflecting on a past conversation that he had with his wife. “Dr. Marriage remembers the moment all too clearly. He was lying in bed next to [his wife] when she said, I can’t believe you did that. To which Dr. Marriage – who was puzzled since he didn’t remember doing anything especially dumb that day – replied Did what? To which she replied, when you tried to use that rusty X-Acto blade to get that sliver out of Henry’s foot. Henry is [their] son. That wasn’t rust, it was dirt. It was rust [she said]. He could have gotten tetanus. Oh, c’mon, he’d have been fine [he said]. He’s a boy. Besides, it was eight years ago. Doesn’t the statute of limitations ever run out with you?”
The first problem with Dr. Marriage’s bad marriage advice is the perspective of his wife. For her to bring up an incident that happened eight years ago means that his wife harbors anger. There have been studies showing anger in the brain disrupts the growth of new neurons, essential to sending messages and communicating with the rest of the body.
Some known health problems associated with anger include:
- High Blood Pressure
- Risk of Coronary Disease
- Skin problems like increased acne
- Headaches or Migraines
- Digestive irregularities
Ephesians 4:26 teaches us that we will become angry. However, as a response to the marriage advice we are not to disobey God by sinning and we are to let the anger go before it has a dramatic impact on our health.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: (Ephesians 4:26)
Dr. Marriage provides additional bad marriage advice. He contemplates that he has “apologized for his stupidity.” According to this bad marriage advice, “it has saved a lot of squabbling. So much so, that lately Dr. Marriage has been experimenting with a similar, pre-emptive version of this philosophy. What he does, every morning before getting out of bed, is roll over to [his wife] and whisper I’m sorry for every dumb thing I’m about to do or say today. Usually [his wife] just elbows him in the sternum. But he thinks it’s eventually going to work. Or not.”
His bad marriage advice is to get up in the morning and lie to his wife. Lying can only lead to distrust and eventually destroy the marriage. Distrust can spread through a marriage like a wildfire. What starts as a small ember of doubt can mushroom into a full blaze of distrust. The best way to prevent distrust from taking root is to proactively focus on building trust through teambuilding. Husbands can focus on cooperation and interdependence in the marriage. In addition, instead of following this bad marriage advice, a husband should have discussions related to enhancing right and moral behaviors in a marriage.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
-Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
– Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
– Husband Leadership Principles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly