Sex before marriage

Why sex before marriage is a bad idea?

Sex before marriage is a detriment that continues to contribute to the rising divorce rate. Those who participate have a propensity to weaponize sex in addition to other things. For example, in December 2011, Sarah Jio compiled interesting statistics about sex and experts’ opinions and reported that 84% of women have sex to get their guy to do more around the house. Sex before marriage introduces the possibility of weaponizing sex, complicating the reproduction process, and complicating the bonding process which in many cases results in divorce. 

The institute for Family Studies reported that married people are happiest if their spouses are the only people with whom they have ever had sex. The study found that 64 % of the women who reported one sexual partner over their lifetime were classified as “very happy”. Fifty-two percent of the women who had six to ten lifetime sexual partners were less likely to have the same classification. The results for this study were consistent for men too. Seventy-two percent of the men who had one lifetime sexual partner were classified as “very happy”. Only sixty percent of men with five lifetime sexual partners were less likely to have the same classification. Sex before marriage is a great detriment to a happy marriage which increases the possibility of divorce.

Sex is meant for reproduction of offspring. When animals are motivated to reproduce it happens during mating or copulation; for most non-human mammals, mating and copulation occur at oestrus (the most fertile period in the mammalian female’s reproductive cycle), which increases the chances of successful impregnation. Once animals have reproduced the primary function to develop the offspring is left to the mother. Animals have a tradition of a female centered offspring development. This is counterproductive for humans and has consequences that have become detrimental to the offspring of human children.

Children from fatherless homes are more likely to be poor, become involved in drug and alcohol abuse, drop out of school, and suffer from health and emotional problems. Boys are more likely to become involved in crime, and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens.

Sex before marriage has a direct impact on bonding between men and women. Scientifically, sex engages men and women hormonally, neurologically, and psychologically. Therefore, forming intense bonds mentally, emotionally, and physically, especially when a man and woman are involved in sex before marriage over and over.

Sexual activity releases chemicals in our brains. For women, it is primarily the hormone oxytocin, and for men it is vasopressin. Oxytocin allows a woman to bond to the most significant people in her life. It eases stress, creating feelings of calm and closeness, which leads to increased trust. It also causes her to want to nurture and protect the one she’s bonded to. Vasopressin is very similar to oxytocin, except that it is primarily released in the brain of men. This hormone causes a man to bond to a woman during intimate contact. This hormone generates a desire for commitment and rouses loyalty. There is a third set of hormones called endorphins released during sexual activities, and they affect both genders. Endorphins are highly addictive and cause us to want to experience the rush again and again and again.  Whether it’s a one-time sexual encounter or a lifelong commitment, sex causes individuals to bond.

The act of sex before marriage results in multiple sexual partners. The pattern that is developed is that people bond and break, bond and break, and bond and break. Through time. People lose their ability to bond. Due to this repeated pattern people do not feel connected or committed. And when someone else comes along that seems a little more exciting, more appealing, or more perfect for us, the feelings diminish for the person and the bond and break relationship pattern continues. This pattern of sex before marriage leads to divorce. Therefore, we must follow the instructions in the Holy Bible regarding sex before marriage.


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In Christ,

Dr. Derrick and Minister Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
(856) 566-3267



Published Books


  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
  • Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
  • Husband Leadership Principles

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