Why open marriages don’t work?
A recent article reports the possibility of the open marriage between Will and Jada Smith is working despite divorce rumors. Alternative relationship formats seem to provide alternatives to divorce. Open marriages will never work because they do not replicate the original design of marriage. According to the article, both Will and Jada Smith embrace an open marriage because it enables them to pursue their proposed demanding careers and still remain married to each other. Jada has been cited as saying that Will Smith cheating rumors have little impact on her view because no one knows who she maybe cheating with.
Why will open marriages never work?
Open marriages are consistent with the mating rituals of animals such as the fire-colored beetle.
At times Fire-colored beetles use toxic substances as aphrodisiacs. The beetle male entices his mate by presenting a chemical known as cantharidinan, which is secreted from a gland in his head. Additional amounts of the chemical are transferred to the female beetle in the male’s sperm. The female beetle in turn, transfers the chemical to her eggs, which are protected by the chemical from predators. These female lightning bugs that have one flash pattern to attract males of their own species with which to mate, and another flash pattern that mimics a pattern of a different species. This is a trap for males of other species. If they fall into the trap, they are eaten by the female. According to the animal kingdom, open marriages result in the premature death of one of the animals. From a humanistic perspective open marriages result in the death of relationships. It is impossible for relationships outside the marriage to continue because it does not replicate the original design of marriage.
What is the original design of marriage (Ordermige)?
Genesis 2:7, records that …”the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul”. God placed the man He created in the Garden of Eden. Then God created a habitable environment for him, which included trees that were pleasant to the sight and good for food. God placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the Garden of Eden too. Eden also had a river that divided into four parts. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden “… to dress it and to keep it” (Genesis 2:15).
Dressing and keeping the Garden of Eden was Adams original purpose. The word ‘dress’ in the Hebrew is ‘abad, which means to work as a servant. The word ‘keep’ in the Hebrew is shamar, which means to protect. God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work as a servant in the garden and to protect the garden. Protecting the garden required that Adam become the steward of the garden. God granted Adam stewardship over the Garden of Eden. Stewardship requires a relationship between the master and the one that the master entrusts with the resources. In this case, God is the master and He entrusted the Garden of Eden to Adam.
God provided Adam with the path that he was to follow (Genesis 2:16 – 17). God instructed Adam on what he could and could not do. At that point and time, Adam maintained his relationship with God by obeying his commands.
God decided to provide Adam with a helper. Genesis 2:18 records …”The Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet”. That word ‘meet’ in the Hebrew is ‘ezer. Ezer means to help. Eve’s primary responsibility was to help Adam who was to work as a servant and to protect the Garden of Eden. The original purpose for the union between Adam and Eve was to work together as a team to serve and protect the Garden of Eden. Hence, the original purpose for the marriage between a man and a woman is to serve and protect the resources that God gives to the husband and wife through teamwork. The key for the husband is to become a servant of God so that God will provide resources for the husband to protect which will enable the wife to help with the purpose that God gives to the husband.
Marriages such as open marriages are doomed to fail because they do not replicate the original design of marriage.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012
(856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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Samaritan Baptist Church
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