How can couples traverse through financial problems?
In a recent article, a wife complains how financial problems are causing marriage challenges. The wife is reaching out for a solution. The author recommends devising a plan for the husband to find employment as well as attending counseling services for the couple. The author needs to provide advice that address the root cause of their financial debacle instead of the symptoms that appear on the surface.
The wife provides the following scenario: I’m really struggling in my marriage. My husband has been unemployed for the past six months and we’re in a very difficult financial situation. I’m working and basically keeping everything going. The financial strain we’re under is causing huge stress in our marriage. We live on my wage week to week, with nothing left over. He is not very motivated and keeps his head in the sand a lot of the time. He is looking for work, but it’s in a niche area so there aren’t many opportunities. He has suffered from depression and anxiety in the past, so I’m mindful that the stress he’s under is difficult for him to manage. He has received counselling for this. I am extremely stressed trying to keep him motivated, keep positive, stay on top of bills and basically keep the show on the road. I’m becoming resentful towards him. I don’t feel as though he’s meeting me halfway at all.
We have spoken about this many times, and while he says he’ll change and help out more, it never happens. I’m caught between being sensitive towards his situation and low self-esteem, and at the same time wanting to scream “enough”. It’s come to the stage where I’m wondering if he is the kind of life partner I actually want, and the more I think about it the more I realise I have been minding him for years. I don’t want that for myself any more. I started to have a panic attack the other day, and he turned away from me. We don’t have children and we have no savings. I’m daydreaming a lot lately about us taking a break from each other. I’d love to think this is a rough patch, but it’s been going on for so long I don’t know if I can continue for my own health and sanity.
If the husband and wife understood the original purpose of marriage, they would better understand how to overcome any financial problem that places a burden on their marriage.
The main purpose of marriage is to serve God in the area that God ordains the man to serve. According to Genesis 2:15-18, God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to be a servant and a steward over the resources that God provides. He provided Adam with the instructions that he was to follow and then he provided Adam with a help meet. God provided Adam with a team player.
In this case, the wife is helping with the financial problem by contributing monetarily to the household. What probably frustrates the wife the most is that the roles should be reversed. If anyone should not be working it should be her. Society has taught her that if a man does not contribute money to the household he is less than a man.
She must now help the husband to find his purpose. When he finds his purpose, God will provide the necessary resources. The husband has also made an error in not following God’s instructions. This is the same problem that ended in Adam and Eve being driven out of the Garden of Eden. According to Malachi 3: 10-11 God has given instructions concerning finances and financial problems.
Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts (Malichi 3:10-11 KJV).
Not only has God promised to bless the person who tithes, but He also said that when financial problems become prominent He will rebuke those problems.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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Samaritan Baptist Church
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El Shaddia Christian Assembly