Why is submission in a marriage a powerful tool for wives?

In a recent article, the marriage roles of a pastor husband and his wife are met with challenges and opposition. The wife displays her discontent with the husband’s controlling behavior by demanding her “freedom”. If the wife was aware of her power that she posses through submission, she would enhance the overall quality of her marriage.


The husband is a pastor who admits to using a tracking device on his wife’s cell phone, asking her to be put on speaker, and always wanting to know where she is going. His wife responds by stating, “I’m fed up with the way that Jason treats me. I’ve been taught that I need to submit; submitting means Hubby is always right,” … “I am tired of being controlled. I am ready to be my own person.”


The pastor acknowledges that he has some questionable behavior. “I can be a jerk. I can be controlling and manipulative. I want to know what’s happening, when it’s happening, why it’s happening. There have been times I’ve been verbally abusive,” he says. He also says that he’s punched a wall out of anger and has pushed his wife out of the way to get to their bedroom. “I believe a wife is the weaker vessel, leaning on her husband, who’s supposed to be stronger, that’s just the way God made us.” Jason continues, “I want her to be her own person. It’s important that Sarah has an independent nature with a submissive characteristic.

Wives have the ability to enhance their marriages through submission to their husband. Ephesians 5:22 states, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord”. The book of Ephesians is written as a guide to overcome spiritual warfare. In all marriages there is a spiritual war against the family. We find that the spiritual war began in the book of Genesis.

We also find in the book of Ester the power that a wife possesses when she submits to her husband. The story of Ester actually begins with queen Vasti. Queen Vasti was a beautiful queen of Ahasuerus, who was deposed from her royal dignity because she refused to obey the king when he desired her to appear in the banqueting hall of Shushan the palace (Ester 1:10-12). The king banished queen Visti from his kingdom and sought a new wife.

After king Ahasuerus divorced queen Vashti, he chose Esther to be his wife. Shortly thereafter he gave Haman the Agagite, his prime minister, power and authority to kill all the Jews throughout the Persian empire. By queen Esther’s intervention this catastrophe was averted. Haman was hanged on the gallows he had intended for Mordecai (Esth 7); and the Jews established an annual feast, the feast of Purim, in memory of their deliverance.

The submission for queen Esther came in hoe she approached the king. According to Esther 5: 1-2, On the third day, Esther dressed up in her royal clothing and stood in the inner courtyard of the palace facing it. The king was sitting on his royal throne in the royal courtroom, facing its entrance.  As soon as the king saw Queen Esther standing in the courtyard, she won his approval. The king extended the gold scepter in his hand toward Esther, and she approached and touched the tip of the scepter.

One of the major rules that the king had was that you were not allowed to approach him without his permission. If Esther had not submitted to her husbands rule of how to approach him she would have never saved her people.

While many wives do not desire to adhere to the rules outlined by their husbands, submission in the marriage endows the wife with power that can overcome any spiritual battle.

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Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com


Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

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“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.


Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

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