In a recent article, an author discusses the role that men should play in wedding planning. The author goes on to say that most men do nothing and leave the entire wedding planning to their future wife. The authors believe that the future husband should be intimately involved in the process therefore assisting the future wife. For men who have entered into the wedding planning process, this is an opportunity to demonstrate your leadership skills.
The first area that the future husband must demonstrate leadership is in planning. Your wedding is going to cost and to ensure effectiveness you must demonstrate leadership. Therefore, your are going to need to develop a plan. The first thing that you will have to do is to determine what you are going to spend on the wedding and honeymoon. Use the following as a categorical guidelines for developing your wedding planning plan:
- Photography and videography
- Wedding attire
- Engagement rings and wedding bands
Give your future wife about a week to estimate what she would like to have included in the wedding. Ask her to write the separate items according to categories associated with the costs. Have a meeting with her and come to an agreement on what should be spent for each category. It is important that as the leader in the future marriage you establish unity.
According to the bible, unity with Christ is at the center of any marriage that will glorify God – The father of Jesus Christ
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church” (Ephesians 5:31-32).
The center of marriage is a replication of Christ and the church. In this sense the man is representative of Christ and the woman is representative of the church. As the husband you are to have a Christ center. And as the leader the wife is to be Christ centered. Before you make the announcement of your wedding date, you and your future wife need to agree on three spiritual goals.
Begin this process by enumerating ten spiritual goals. Write down why each spiritual goal is important to you. Ask your future wife to write down her ten spiritual goals and why each goal is important to her. Have a meeting with her and explain to her why your ten spiritual goals are important. Next have your future wife explain why her ten spiritual goals are important to her.
Before going ahead with your wedding planning you and your future wife will agree on three spiritual goals. You will next develop a timeline for each goal. For example, each goal will be either daily, weekly, or monthly. Some of the most important goals are prayer, tithing, and attending church.
As the leader you have established a template for developing a strategic for your wedding planning. You have set goals in place, with a timeline.
Now you are ready for your wedding planning meting with your future wife. Begin and end your wedding planning meeting with a prayer. You should start the meeting with prayer and have her to end the meeting with prayer. Each category previously suggested is the same as having a goal. Develop a timeline for each goal. Develop a budget for each goal.
Write your plan on paper. Give you and your future wife another week to revise the plan. have a meeting within the next week to finalize the plan. The wedding planning process is very involved. However, you as the future husband must establish your leadership in the marriage and the wedding planning process is a good place to start.
Make your announcement about your wedding planning and share your strategic plan with parents and friends.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly