In a recent article, proposed relationship guru – Hellen Chen – believes that the cause for marriage problems related to infidelity in a relationship is communication. She ascertains that before infidelity occurs, couples have already demonstrated a lack of communication in their marriage. While communication is important, more importantly is spiritual agreement in which the lack of is the source for many marriage problems that lead to divorce.
Spiritual agreement forms the foundation for our moral values in a marriage. When people are contemplating such travesties associated with infidelity and divorce it is because their moral compass has completely eroded. Moral values form the foundation for any successful marriage and people who are either married or considering marriage assume that they both have morals without agreeing on what morals will dominate the relationship.
Morality describes the principles that govern our behavior. Without these principles in place, societies cannot survive for long. In today’s world, morality is frequently thought of as belonging to a particular religious point of view, but by definition, we see that this is not the case. Everyone adheres to a moral doctrine of some kind. Morality as it relates to our behavior is important on three levels.
According to author C.S. Lewis morality accomplishes the following:
- It ensures fair play and harmony between individuals
- It helps make us good people in order to have a good society
- It keeps us in a good relationship with the power that created us
The major reason for so many marriage problems related to infidelity and divorce is that we know longer have a good relationship with the power that created us. And that power is God – The Father of Jesus Christ. When we choose not to follow His instructions then we choose the path of destruction which includes creating marriage problems which lead to infidelity and divorce.
The human need for infidelity is consistent with many of our animals. Take a dog for example. When a dog is born, he or she is born to multiply. The multiplication process begins when a dog is in heat. Female dogs start going into heat once they are of reproductive maturity which usually happens between 6 months and 2 years of age. When female dogs are in heat, they essentially are open to mating. Their female hormone levels elevate, then drop drastically. Their ovaries then emit eggs for purposes of fertilization. Heat typically lasts 2 to 3 weeks or so. Dogs in heat are eager to get away from their cozy homes for the purposes of tracking down male dogs for mating.
During a heat cycle, female dogs produce scent to attract males. As soon as male dog senses it, he gets crazy. And likewise, if a female dog senses male nearby, she gets crazy as well. When an intact and sexually mature male dog is around a female dog in heat, there is a dramatic shift in his overall demeanor. The male dog will have a frantic urge to escape from his cozy residence, when he smells the scent of a female dog that is in heat.
Female dogs in heat frequently leave a urine mark as a technique for drawing in nearby potential mating partners. Male dogs can smell the odor from as far away as a mile. Being around females in heat makes male dogs anxious — and therefore usually more than willing to do a little traveling. Breaking out of backyards isn’t a rare behavior for male canines near females, and neither is lingering on strange doorsteps waiting around for them.
As you can read, dogs have no moral compass when it comes to infidelity. Men and woman who keep their moral values focused on Jesus Christ will know that infidelity is unacceptable and will create marriage problems that lead to divorce.
Infidelity leads to adultery. Adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband.
According to the Holy Bible, adultery is such an egregious sin that it is punishable by death.
“And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death” (Leviticus 20:10).
Overcoming the marriage problems related to infidelity begins with establishing spiritual goals for your marriage. The husband and wife should use the following process for the development of spiritual goals:
- Both the husband and wife should write down 10 spiritual goals (Complete this step individually)
- Write down why each spiritual goal is important
- Come together in a meeting and explain why each spiritual goal is important to you
- Agree on three spiritual goals
- Place time constraints on each goal (daily, weekly, monthly, etc.)
- Execute your goalsCouples who agree on spiritual goals will avoid marriage*- problems that stem from infidelity which can lead to divorce.
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Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012 (856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com
Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
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Samaritan Baptist Church
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