Are Men Who Remarry Doomed for Divorce?

In a recent article, a study revealed that men who remarry, remarry woman who are much younger to avert a future divorce. The range to remarry seems to be anywhere 10 to 25 years. Men who remarry much younger woman choose much younger women because of their control issues in their previous marriage which lead to divorce.

In a male dominated society that teaches woman the benefits of freedom, it is more likely that during marriage men will face opposition that can lead to divorce. Much opposition is the result of finances. Women are now the leading or solo breadwinners in 40 percent of households, compared with just 11 percent in 1960, according to Census Bureau data analyzed by Pew. In many homes, the person who brings in the most money is thought to have the right to dominate the finances and therefore dominate the marriage.

In the 1900’s women were mainly responsible for household chores and the rearing of children while the husband was the main bread winner. While family dynamics have changed since the woman as the breadwinner has increased. It is now more acceptable and expected for the wife to contribute to the household finances.

It seems that the recession has played a major role in women into becoming the household breadwinner. Today men who were employed in industries such as construction and manufacturing suffers from excessive lay offs related to the recession.

The job tenure for working women has held fairly steady over the recession. With the exceptions of the 25-to-34 and 55-to-64 age groups, median tenure for women rose between 2006 and 2008 and again in 2010. Overall, the median tenure for women rose from 4.7 years in 2006 to 5.1 years in 2010. Tenure for working men was somewhat more volatile. For working men aged 25 to 34, median tenure dropped from 2.9 years in 2006 to 2.8 years in 2008, and then rose to 3.2 years in 2010. Job tenure rose steadily for men aged 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64. For men between the ages of 35 and 44, job tenure rose from 5.1 years in 2006 to 5.3 in 2010. Similarly, for men in the 45-to-54 age group, job tenure rose from 8.1 years to 8.5 years, and for the 55-to-64 age group, tenure rose from 9.5 years to 10.4 years. Median tenure for working men aged 65 and older has fluctuated widely since 2006, when it was 8.3 years. In 2008, median job tenure for men aged 65 and older rose sharply to 10.4 years and then dropped to 9.7 years in 2010. Overall job tenure for men rose from 5.0 years to 5.3 years between 2006 and 2010.

Another factor to consider is the change of women’s attitudes towards working. In 2007, before the recession officially began, 20 percent of mothers told Pew that their ideal situation would be to work full time rather than part time or not at all. The share had risen to 32 percent by the end of 2012.

Instead of looking to remarry a younger woman after divorce, men can use leadership principles to off set the societal challenges associated with the different that result from financial complications. A man can use his leadership to develop a shared vision with his wife. After the shared vision development, develop a strategic plan for your marriage and avoid the pitfalls associated with divorce.

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Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell

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