husband to put you first

How to get your husband to put you first?

If you are a wife who is having trouble getting your husband to put you first, then you reached the right place. Ephesians 5:25 (KJV) directs “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Wives will need to consider the type of love that they desire.

The New Testament of the Holy bible uses four words that the Greeks used to describe love. The four words are agape, storge, phileo, and eros.  Eros love refers to romantic or sexual love. Philleo love refers to brotherly love. Storge love is used to describe love in the family between parents and children, husbands and wives, siblings, as well as other people who you may consider to be family. Agape love is the highest level of love referenced in the Bible which is everlasting and sacrificial. The love that wives should look for is related to Agape love.

Agape love is more important that Eros love. According to Greek mythology, Eros was a person. He was the Greek god of love. In some stories he appears as a primordial god, born from Chaos, and in others he is the son of Aphrodite. He is depicted as mischievous, meddling in the affairs of gods and mortals. In early Greek poetry and art, he was handsome in human form carrying a lyre or bow and arrow. He became known as Cupid in Roman mythology and is depicted as a child carrying a bow and arrow. Hence, the cute little cherub we often see on Valentine’s Day cards. Eros love is based on some type of mythical character resulting in love that is short-lived.

Agape Love is forever.

Agape love involves more that physical love, it involves a love that is everlasting and with the proper application, will cause your husband to put you first. Agape love has three primary components:

  1. Cooperation
  2. Interdependence
  3. Moral Behaviors

Cooperation involves the husband and wife working together for a common purpose or benefit. An interdependent relationship between a husband and wife is a close personal relationship, where one or both provides some type of support and care for the other. Moral behaviors involve conforming to standards of what is right or just behavior according to the tenets of the Holy Bible.

Wives must become intruded to the purpose of your husband. It is not your place to determine your husband’s purpose. That is god’s job. There is an old saying that many wives align their behavior.

“He may be the head, but I am the neck. And the neck guides the head”

Taking this type of perspective will cause your husband to resent you. Here are a few behaviors that the wife can exhibit so that the husbands knows that the wife is cooperating.

  1. Be the ultimate team player
  2. Collaborate with Your Husband
  3. Provide Constructive and Not Negative Criticism
  4. Respect His Efforts
  5. Show Dedication to Your Husband
  6. Trust His Judgement

Next, there is interdependence behaviors. There is an assortment of talents that wives have that can contribute to the success of your husband’s purpose. After evaluating the husband’s purpose, offer help in the areas that he lacks expertise.

However, some wives resort to aggressive behaviors to show their interdependence. A few of the aggressive behaviors include:

  1. Frequently Criticizing or Protesting
  2. Being Disagreeable or Irritable.
  3. Procrastinating
  4. Acting Hostile
  5. Acting Stubborn.
  6. Complaining About Being Unappreciated

Finally, wives who desire for their husband to put you first must have behaviors consistent with respecting your husband.  Wives can respect their husband by:

  1. Honoring His Wishes
  2. Giving Him Your Undivided Attention
  3. Don’t Interrupt Him
  4. Emphasizing His Good Points
  5. Praying for Him
  6. Being Thankful
  7. Smiling at Him
  8. Responding Physically
  9. Having Eyes Only for Him
  10. Honoring His Wishes
  11. Giving Him Your Undivided Attention
  12. Don’t Interrupt Him
  13. Emphasizing His Good Points
  14. Praying for Him
  15. Being Thankful
  16. Smiling at Him
  17. Responding Physically
  18. Having Eyes Only for Him

Wives, there are many behaviors need to enhance the relationships with your husband. Most importantly, remember that these behaviors will help to get your husband to put you first.

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In Christ,

Dr. Derrick and Minister Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
(856) 566-3267


Published Books

  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
  • Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
  • Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
  • Husband Leadership Principles

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell

Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ

“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Dr. Derrick and Minister Sheila Campbell

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