Micro cheating is the new fad that is leading many couples to divorce court. Since divorce is never the end that many intend as their relationship outcome, couples need use several techniques to ensure that micro-cheating does not railroad the intentions of many couples.
Micro cheating involves seemingly trivial behaviors that suggest a person is emotionally or physically involved with someone outside the relationship. An example would be holding a door open for lady, copping a feel, asking for a kiss, extending the buttock or kissing your hand. In essence, micro cheating is non-sexual contact with someone other than your spouse. Micro cheating is a powerful vehicle that induces divorce due to its physiological and emotional impact. A non-sexual touch such as a friendly slap on the back, a sensual caress, or a loving kiss has a powerful impact on the emotions. In fact, our skin contains receptors that directly elicit emotional responses, through stimulation of erogenous zones or nerve endings. The emotional impact of non-sexual contact is ingrained in our bodies.
Non sexual contact produces oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that reduces stress related responses towards an individual. Oxytocin is produced mainly in the hypothalamus, where it is either released into the blood via the pituitary gland, or to other parts of the brain and spinal cord, where it binds to oxytocin receptors to influence behavior and physiology.
Other forms of non-sexual contact that should be reserved for only the husband and wife are:
- Back Rubs
- Holding hands
- Walks (not speed walking)
- Foot massage
- Body massage
- Gentle touch to the face
- Arm around shoulder
- Hand on thigh or knee
- Dancing together
- Caressing and stroking the body
- Playing with hair
- Gentle touch on the shoulder
- Sitting close enough that bodies touch
- Arm around waist
- Playful (Wanted) tickling
Another form of micro cheating is an emotional affair. High levels of non-sexual emotional contact in adults may occur without the participants being bound by other intimate relationships. An emotional affair often describes a bond between two people that mimics the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while never being physically consummated. An emotional affair is sometimes referred to as an affair of the heart. An emotional affair may emerge from a friendship, and progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment.
What distinguishes an emotional affair from a friendship is the assumption of emotional roles between the two participants that mimic those of an actual relationship – with regards to confiding personal information and turning to the other person during moments of vulnerability or need.
The intimacy between the people involved usually stems from a friendship with confidence to tell each other intimate aspects of themselves, their relationships, or even subjects they wouldn’t talk with their husband or wife. While not physical, this relationship can quickly pass that barrier, and while the first physical contact can take a long time to happen (e.g. a kiss), what follows next is usually followed quickly due to the such high levels of intimacy already existent between the two.
Non sexual contact and emotional affairs are the result of micro cheating. Couples can avoid micro cheating by establishing social interaction rules in the marriage. This process is part of Dr. Campbell’s book – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land. In this book, Dr. Campbell instructs couples on how to eliminate conflict in the marriage and develop a strategic plan which originate from a family shared vision. Couples can use the material to ensure that they eliminate all possibilities of micro cheating devastating their marriage.
Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell
PO Box 4707
Cherry Hill, NJ 08012
- Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land
- Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives)
- Advanced Marriage Training for Singles
- Husband Leadership Principles
“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.
Bishop Joseph P. Ravenell
Samaritan Baptist Church
“I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.
Dr. James E. Woods, II
El Shaddia Christian Assembly