How should husbands handle a smart wife?

In a recent article, a study revealed that men are less likely to formulate a relationship with a perspective smart wife. This study could have ramifications for the future of husbands. Husbands who have a smart wife can make their marriage more productive by adhering to the original design for marriage (Ordermige).

According to the article, Why men are threatened by smart women, men become threatened by woman as a result of violating male tendencies associated with male masculinity. The study involved 105 male participants. The participants read a hypothetical scenario regarding a woman who either outperformed or underperformed them. The men gave favorable responses to women who were regarded as a smart woman when compared to the man.

However, when the man was positioned to meet the smart woman, the tables turned. The men revealed a desire to distance them from meeting the smart woman, rated the same woman as less attractive, and indicated a desire not to exchange information with the woman or go on a date with the woman. The men exhibited characteristics associated with a dysfunctional organization. For husbands to have success with a smart wife they must understand the roles of the husband and wife in a marriage.

What are the husband and smart wife roles in a marriage?

The role of the husband and wife differ according to the source. According to one source, the wife’s duties are limited to submission to her husband and household duties. Specifically, the wife is the manager of the home with the husband as the overseer of her duties and her life. The wife is responsible for the daily care of children, meal preparation, and keeping the house clean and in manageable order. The wife can take on additional responsibilities such as getting a job.

According to the same source, the primary role of the husband is to provide oversight to his wife and children. He provides oversight in the areas of Bible studies and prayers. The second primary role in the family is to be the breadwinner who provides the financial support for the family. Herein lays the problem with a husband who has a smart wife.

Most smart wives make a sizable salary when compared to their husband and other wives. While the bible points out that the husband is the leader of the family, the husband could feel that his leadership is diminished and challenged due to the role that finances can play in a marriage.

What role do finances play in a marriage that consists of a smart wife?

In America, finances can play a major role in a marriage. According to the 2010 American Community Survey, for 24% of couples the wife earns more money than the husband. While the marriage rate decreases for women who earn more money than men, it is also reported that women who earn more money than their husband are less happy in the marriage. According to a survey of 4,000 married couples, researchers found that the percentage of people who reported being “very happy” declined when the wife earns more money than the husband. While close to 50 percent of wives and husbands reported being very happily married, both spouses are 6 percentage points less likely to report a “very happy” marriage when the wife earns more. They’re 8 percentage points more likely to report marital troubles in the past year and 6 percentage points more likely to have discussed separating in the past year. It also appears to affect divorce rates, as they write that having a wife who earns more than her husband “increases the likelihood of divorce by 50 percent.”

Even though the breadwinner wife is the unhappiest, this can also result in unhappiness for both the husband and the marriage. The husband will need to use alternative strategies to ensure a happy marriage.

What strategy should the husband use to ensure a great marriage with a smart wife?

Husbands need only to replicate the original design for marriage (Ordermige) to ensure happiness for both the wife and husband. The husband needs to ensure that he is a servant and good steward over the resources that God provides (Genesis 2:15). If the husband is a servant then he is following his original purpose as ordained by God. If he is a good steward over the resources, then his smart wife is more likely to trust him with the finances.

The next step is for him to follow God’s instructions. Another way for the husband to ensure financial stability is to follow God’s instructions in the area of tithing. According to Malachi 3:10-11, “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the Lord of hosts.”

The final step is for the husband to ensure that the wife becomes a team player in the area that God has called him to serve. This will add security for the smart wife who is the breadwinner.

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In Christ,

Dr. Derrick and Mrs. Sheila Campbell

PO Box 1668 Blackwood, NJ 08012

(856) 566-3267 www.advancedmarriagetraining.com

Published books – Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land -Leading Your Marriage into the Promised Land (Workbook for husbands & Wives) – Advanced Marriage Training for Singles

All Three          Advanced

 

“I was blessed by the love and sensitivity that you and your wife showed during the presentation”.

 

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Samaritan Baptist Church

Trenton, NJ “I would highly recommend you to any church or organization desiring to provide their people with timely marital wisdom and practical application skills”.

 

Dr. James E. Woods, II

El Shaddia Christian Assembly

Philadelphia, PA

Derrick and Sheila

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